A Preview of the Nintendo Switchs Huge ScrewUps

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first_img We now know more about the Nintendo Switch than we did a few days ago. Nintendo gave a presentation about its new system, and the day after Jordan Minor and I actually got hands on the system at a preview event in New York (you can read his account here and my own preview on It looks like a promising game system you can use as both a home console and a handheld, and we’re both pretty excited.Which is why we’re going to pick apart exactly how Nintendo is screwing up. Because hoo boy, they are working hard at reminding us just how good they are at dropping the ball. It’s like Nintendo has a quota of stupid choices it has to make for every success it gets.The System Looks NeatI know this won’t stave off fanboys defending or gloating about every one of Nintendo’s mistakes, but I still have to try: The Nintendo Switch itself is a really interesting concept that, as a platform, looks like it could be a big success. More importantly, after trying it out, I’m personally excited about getting it in my hands for a longer period of time next month. It’s a great idea that Nintendo seems to be nailing in many ways.Subscription BallsThat said, Nintendo pulled one of the most colossally arrogant Nintendo moves I’ve ever seen with its announcement of a paid online service. Seriously, the balls on this company. Making the Nintendo Switch Online Service a paid subscription to play games online and have any communication with other players? After Nintendo lagged behind the rest of the video game industry literally a decade in providing any sort of online service. That takes balls so big Lemmy Koopa could throw them at you during a boss fight.The idea that an online service requires a subscription to play online is nothing new. Xbox Live has been doing it since 2002. PlayStation Network started requiring a subscription for online multiplayer with the launch of the PlayStation 4. The problem is that Nintendo has done absolutely nothing to earn that subscription fee yet. And, from the promises it’s been making, it really isn’t trying to.Nintendo has historically offered the clunkiest, most convoluted online gaming experience in the industry. The Wii U gave us some great online games like Super Mario Maker and Splatoon, but even in them, basic features like custom matchmaking and user searches have been poorly implemented or even simply not present at launch. Now Nintendo is promising an “Online Lobby and Voice Chat app” to go with “Online gameplay,” and for that, it’s going to ask for a monthly or yearly fee.To be fair, online multiplayer will be free for Switch users until the fall, after which they can decide if the online service is worth it. Of course, all of the extra features like voice chat and online lobbies will either not be available or heavily limited until the fall, so it’s a pretty huge wash. You can play online for free with the same features you had for free on the Wii U, just without Miiverse. For a few months.World’s Most Useless Voice ChatThen there’s the promise for voice chat. Or rather, a voice chat app for smart devices. That’s where “pretty ballsy” becomes “incredibly stupid.” The Switch itself won’t have a voice chat app? At all? We’ll have to use our smartphone or tablet?Okay, a show of hands: How many of you can already get in touch with your friends and communicate using your voice with your phone or tablet? Everyone? Seriously, all of you? Wow, it’s like smartphones are designed with voice chat and contact lists as two of their primary functions. Thanks, focus group in my head.Nintendo is going to demand a paid subscription fee for the ability to use voice chat on devices that already have dozens of widely used, free voice chat services available. Instead of making it an integrated feature on the Switch itself, which fundamentally is a tablet!Classic Game Rental (Singular)Well, at least Nintendo gives you a classic game every month for the service. And now “incredibly stupid” becomes “infuriatingly arrogant.” The subscription offers a single NES or SNES game a month. And after that month, the game is taken away and replaced. It isn’t added to your library as part of the service, like Xbox Live Gold and PS Plus do with multiple games a month. It’s one game a minimum of 19 years old.But it’ll get online play added to it. Which would be impressive if emulators haven’t offered the same thing for decades. And, of course, voice chat only through your smartphone or tablet if you want to play it online, anyway.Nintendo had a big success with the NES Classic, and now instead of running with that success it’s tripping over itself and falling flat on its face harder than ever with classic games. This is a company with a library of hundreds of video games that millions of gamers genuinely love. It could make a killing offering that library as a subscription service. It could make a killing offering only one percent of that library as a subscription service. Instead, subscribers get one rental game a month.And Nintendo hasn’t actually said anything about the Virtual Console or the ability to play those classic games on the Switch beside the single monthly game. And if you’ll recall the Wii, Wii U, and 3DS Virtual Consoles, Nintendo has historically eked out at most only a few games a week over the lifetime of those systems. Even now you can’t get all of the best NES, SNES, and N64 games on the Wii U and 3DS.Nintendo Disrespects Us AllAll of this shows that Nintendo clearly doesn’t respect its longest, most dedicated fans. Instead of rewarding gamers who have stuck with Nintendo for decades and given it hundreds and thousands of dollars each in their lifetimes, Nintendo is holding games and gameplay hostage, with plans to force out every last cent it can get.Considering every single one of those games total can be downloaded in five minutes, stored on a $5 memory card, and played on a $40 tablet, it’s a pretty arrogant move. Yes, emulation is illegal. No, it isn’t going to be stopped, and Nintendo isn’t doing itself or its fans any service by continuing to drip-feed roms to gamers at $5-10 a pop or lending one out every month.Nintendo has six weeks until the launch of the Switch, and after that six months until it starts charging for its online service. And that’s how long the company has to pull its head out of its ass and start respecting and pleasing its customers with modern features that justify a paid subscription instead of milking their nostalgia by droplets.And while I’m fantasizing, it would be great if Nintendo stopped being unreasonable, automated, knee-jerk schmucks when it comes to streamers and Let’s Players who share gameplay of their games. Because Nintendo still continues to make the most garbage moves against its most dedicated fans with content ID and copyright claims on YouTube. And if the Capture button on the left JoyCon gave you any hope, know that it only takes screenshots, not video.You can preorder the Nintendo Switch here.Want to learn more? Here’s everything you need to know about the Nintendo Switch. Stay on target ‘Star Wars Pinball’ Has Your Favorite Brand in Ball Form‘Super Smash Bros. Ultimate’ Was Final Mission From Late Nintendo President last_img read more

Hotel Toilet in Japan Asks You to Carry Your Used TP

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first_imgStay on target Removing used toilet paper from a restroom is probably one of the last things you’d want to do, especially in a hotel. That’s why this weird Japanese translation is such a strange request. This Tokyo hotel’s instructions seem to suggest that you should “Please carry away the toilet paper to the restroom without putting it in a garbage can.”Uh, okay? So I’m supposed to take my toilet paper out of the restroom and put it in another restroom, but not put it in a garbage can there? Huh? SoraNews24 has the scoop on this weird translation, which isn’t exactly what it seems. First, this is simple a strange case of “Engrish” with some funny connotations. The picture isn’t actually telling you to take your toilet paper out of the bathroom with you and put it somewhere else, thank goodness. 驚いてはいけない!これが2018年東京のド真ん中の安くはないホテルの言語レベルです。幸いおいらは英語でなく日本語で読めたので正しくトイレを使うことが出来ました。多分。— hiroshi ono (@hiroshimilano) August 18, 2018Instead, it’s basically telling you not to put your toilet paper in the trash can, and instead to flush it as a normal person would. Apparently, there’s a lot of folks out there who like to stuff garbage cans with toilet paper, used or otherwise, and it was pertinent to put out this sign to keep people from doing just that. It’s pretty weird, yes, but people out there are strange, as you all know. It happens in public restrooms all the time: People just let trash cans overflow with disgusting toilet paper, even though it’s meant to be flushed. Bizarre.The translation is still pretty hilarious, even though we know that’s not exactly what it means in the first place. It’s a funny thought to consider, being asked to take your toilet paper from one room to another. At least you don’t have to worry too much since this is just a simple case of mistranslation. Still, though, it’s probably pretty confusing to guests who don’t know enough about the translation to mentally correct it!Japan is a fascinating country with weird and wonderful ongoings, like the Sailor Moon theme played on traditional Japanese instruments. They’ve even got a real-life Transformer that you can visit. And if you’re traveling there soon try Three Different Kinds of Alcoholic Cokes. Keep cultured right here.Let us know what you like about Geek by taking our survey.center_img Launchpad Blaze Postpones JAXA’s Cargo Ship Launch to ISSJapan’s Hayabusa-2 Probe Packs Up Space Rock Cargo From Asteroid Ryugu last_img read more